Drama or Divinity? You Get to Choose. A Game.

bliss Oct 03, 2018

• Ever get ensnarled in stories, judging who is right and wrong?

• Have you ever tried to rescue someone when they didn't even ask for help? 

• Have you ever found yourself complaining or stuck listening to complaining?

If yes, rest assured, I have too! You're not alone. All these kinds of situations relate to something called, "drama". Most of humanity is addicted to it. But there is a way out... In this article I'll share how we approach drama at the Breath of Bliss Facilitator training and how to come back to presence.

Imagine this: you’re immersed with strangers for 8+ hours per day for over 20 days, each with their own triggers, shadows, beliefs, attachment patterns, and habitual coping strategies. This intense learning environment requires you to do things that may be new and scary multiple times, every single day. You stand up to be seen, practice speaking your truth to groups, guide others in practices which may be new to you, receive praise and feedback... every day you walk the tender edge between what feels safe and what feels uncomfortable. Think you may have anything arise around that? 

No matter how nurturing, sensitive, and caring the training is, “stuff” always comes up. It would be naive to assume that it wouldn’t! Everything we share is designed to challenge long-held perceptions of who you think you are, push you to expand your comfort with discomfort, and facilitate expansion.

The Breath of Bliss training community is a like a petri-dish for your life. While you step into leadership you get to learn a lot about your adaptive strategies to stress, unconscious beliefs and how unmetabolized experiences from your past may be influencing you now.

The most powerful conscious relating model we use to support our community is, “The Drama Triangle”. In addition to the breathwork facilitator training taking place, participants are constantly interacting with each other in and outside of class sessions. There are many opportunities to make daily choices between drama and divinity!  

What the heck does "divinity" mean? Embracing your divinity means honoring your holy nature with extreme self-love. Divinity means acknowledging your inherent goodness, purity and innocence and seeing the same in all who surround you.

Embracing your divinity means trusting that everyone is having the perfect experience designed to provoke the next level of their own awakening. From the place of divinity, there is nothing broken we need to fix or save in others. When we abide in divinity, we view others as creative, resourceful and whole. We take 100% responsibility for our own lives and allow others to do the same.  

Divinity means knowing that we all have the power to make choices that create our reality. You make choices that honor your nobility and allow others to make their own choices.

Embracing your divinity means curating your consciousness to be in alignment with Source. This means being devoted to both heart-felt understanding and radical truth telling. You elevate your awareness to see beyond illusions.

Abiding in your divinity means constantly asking yourself empowering questions like, “I wonder what I’m learning from this?” You stay open to discovering something new. Because you respect and honor yourself so much, you bond with those interested in mutual growth and expansion. 

Drama is a cyclical addiction to adrenaline which drains energy, increases suffering and zaps creativity in yourself and others. Drama creates false bonding by emotionally hooking people with stories involving a victim, villain or hero. When we jump into drama, we give away our power and become enslaved to a short term chemical high. Drama is a species-wide mental epidemic which is suppressing the spiritual evolution of humanity 

Since childhood, many of us have learned to avoid the discomfort of challenging situations by creating dramaThough exciting, it limits choices, perpetuates unconscious behavior and creates stuckness. Drama is a coping strategy. It distracts you from the uneasiness you may feel about what is happening. Drama helps you avoid feeling out of control by giving you someone you can judge, save or blame outside yourself. By focusing on someone else, you avoid facing yourself.

Drama takes you out of the beauty of the present moment of sight, smell, taste, touch, sensations, feelings, breath, presence and awareness. It diverts attention from true vulnerability. It obliterates empathy, understanding, compassion and connection with your higher self. Drama takes away the grace of being able to make conscious choices as a sovereign being.

Drama is sneaky, can be intoxicatingly alluring and creates codependence. You may join in on a friends' story as a way to share love and show support, only to get sucked into a non-stop heart-pumping saga which leaves you shaken and upset about something that has nothing to do with you. Perhaps it isn’t even until after your time together that you realize you feel drained from the intensity. Maybe someone constantly seeks you out as the person to save them or agree with them about their victimhood, or who needs to be rescued, or who should be judged.  

Being in drama can feel both exciting and uncomfortable. You may find it hard to name it or break the cycle. This is normal. Perhaps you're worried that if you give feedback, the speaker will think you don’t care about them. Perhaps some part of you believes you are really helping them in some way by continuing to listen to and agree with them. Or... maybe you’re the one ensnarling others into your sticky web of stories… or getting caught on the triangle with yourself in your own mind, with inner critics tormenting you.

No matter how it's arising, just remember you are free. Be easy on yourself. Let go of labeling anything good or bad and just make a new choice right now. Have conversations with friends and family to share your insights about drama. Create agreements to lovingly and gently invite each other into greater presence.

Meanwhile, you can choose divinity over drama by referring to the handy checklist below :) Make it game!

In the last 24 hours have you:

Complained? 

Blamed anyone for your situation? 

Judged the actions of others or yourself? 

Talked about someone behind their back? 

Withheld your truth or suppressed emotions? 

Accused anyone of taking away your power? 

Gotten emotionally hooked by someone else’s story? 

Let someone else’s stories determine your experience? 

Spoken on behalf of someone without their asking you to? 

Tried to help someone by listening to them endlessly blame or complain? 

Remember, when you choose drama over divinity you:

Feed a chemical addiction to adrenaline. 

Abandon your own divinity and rob them of theirs. 

Deprive all involved of their free will power to make a choice. 

Give away your creativity and take away theirs. 

Diminish learning, inspiration, gratitude and bliss. 

Come back into presence and your nobility by:

Taking deep breaths!

Feeling sensations

Moving your body

Making sound 

Praying 

Laughing 

Looping your awareness 

Speaking from your higher self. 

Taking 100% responsibility for yourself. 

Asking, “I wonder what I’m learning from this?” 

(These are all practices which we do in both the Level 1 and Level 2 breathwork trainings)

Finally...

  • DARE to speak up when others entangle you in drama.
  • There is a difference between observing and supporting with compassion and enabling disempowerment and suffering.
  • Love is encouraging others to free themselves from attachment to these roles.
  • State clear boundaries about only wanting to engage with those seeking evolutionary partnerships.
  • Evolutionary partnerships are based on mutual growth and learning, bonding based on realizing highest potentials, discovering something new, and being open to feedback about blind spots.
  • Give yourself permission to depart situations and relationships which consistently dishonor your divinity and theirs.
  • Be easy on yourself! Remember that devotion to living drama-free asks you to build the muscle of speaking your truth and staying aligned with your higher self… and this may take time!

I hope this article inspires you own your voice and create connection based on your true sovereign, divine nature. May you surround yourself with high vibration allies who consistently invite your love, honesty, creativity, and empowerment. May all your spoken words invite deep presence in all who surround you!

If you’re interested in learning to facilitate breathwork and also passionate about living a drama-free life, consider joining our annual September Breath of Bliss trainings in Thailand where we will dive deep into the practices above and so much more...

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